Anxiety had swallowed me like a vicious snake ingesting its helpless victim. However hard it was for me to admit, this was the truth. I knew I would and could do this, but the question of how was screaming at me from the distance. Maybe that could explain the worried, lost and scared look on my face. I had three days to prepare myself for this day. Yet, it seemed to have come all too suddenly. And there I was a young 18 year old, ready to do something for the very first time.
I had jumped out of bed that morning too worried to sleep anymore. I went downstairs for breakfast and my family members seemed normal. But once they saw my troubled face their mood became quiet the contrary. They were the kind of people that took good care of me, almost too much care of me. They would do everything for me. Its a good thing, but as the saying goes -' Too much of anything is good for nothing'.
I had jumped out of bed that morning too worried to sleep anymore. I went downstairs for breakfast and my family members seemed normal. But once they saw my troubled face their mood became quiet the contrary. They were the kind of people that took good care of me, almost too much care of me. They would do everything for me. Its a good thing, but as the saying goes -' Too much of anything is good for nothing'.
This was certainly the cause behind why I felt so scared for what now seems so silly.
As I was growing older, my parents worked hard on trying to be less protective. Yet, it was really hard for them to let go. Thus they began to bombard me with all kinds of advises. Take the auto through this route, its the easiest way there, be passive not timid, demand for what you want, the place is a short walk, you'll find an Oak, Banyan and Champak tree towards your left, right and center, its 1.4 km away... Initially I was irritated, but that was until I realized it would actually be helpful, and I began to find it kind of cute. Never the less I was still terrified.
I somehow reached the place I wanted to reach. It was so much larger that I thought.
I found a watch man at the entrance. I asked him for directions. His hospitality was consoling, and he pointed the way to me. Half way down I found another watchman who helped me with the further directions. I walk into the wrong room, but soon realized and got out before embarrassing myself . Finally, I found a sign that said the place I was looking for is on the other side. I entered, gathering the little confidence I had.
At the front it self was a help desk, from where I understood that I had to walk till the end of the room, and reach the last counter. I slowly walk down the long room, observing the staff start up the day. Once I reached, I found that the last counter was empty. I assumed that since it was still early the employee was yet to come. I took a seat and waited. I don't remember how much time went by, as I was reflecting upon why I felt so scared earlier. I also remember occasionally thinking on asking the adjacent counter employee, if she could help me out, but somehow decided against. I rechecked my challan, signed it then continued to wait. When the wait became too long, I decided to get up and ask her anyway.
I walked up to the counter and said, 'I have to make a payment', and held up the challan. She nodded and took it from me. Surprised at how easy that was, and regretting upon not asking earlier I sat, while she worked on the details. I few questions, handing over of the money, two seals that made a loud noise and it was over. I thanked her and walked out, with a smile on my face. As I headed out of the compound both the watch men who helped me out, asked if I got my work done. I replied that I did and I thanked whole heatedly. My smile grew wider.
On my way back home I got a call from my dad, he asked, 'Were you able to make the entrance fee payment?', 'Yeah!', I replied. 'And did anyone in the bank eat you alive?', 'What! of course not! ', I exclaimed, 'why would you ask that?. 'You just seemed so worried', he said. I found myself replying, 'I was not!', a lie. My dad just smirked and said good bye.
Now I learned a lot from this, but the most important is that we have to let people help us once in a while. The silly task may not be impossible without it, but the help sure makes it a lot more easier and a lot more satisfying. The feeling of knowing that someone's there to help you if you tumble is incredible. And what's more incredible is the want to help someone else.
As I was growing older, my parents worked hard on trying to be less protective. Yet, it was really hard for them to let go. Thus they began to bombard me with all kinds of advises. Take the auto through this route, its the easiest way there, be passive not timid, demand for what you want, the place is a short walk, you'll find an Oak, Banyan and Champak tree towards your left, right and center, its 1.4 km away... Initially I was irritated, but that was until I realized it would actually be helpful, and I began to find it kind of cute. Never the less I was still terrified.
I somehow reached the place I wanted to reach. It was so much larger that I thought.
I found a watch man at the entrance. I asked him for directions. His hospitality was consoling, and he pointed the way to me. Half way down I found another watchman who helped me with the further directions. I walk into the wrong room, but soon realized and got out before embarrassing myself . Finally, I found a sign that said the place I was looking for is on the other side. I entered, gathering the little confidence I had.
At the front it self was a help desk, from where I understood that I had to walk till the end of the room, and reach the last counter. I slowly walk down the long room, observing the staff start up the day. Once I reached, I found that the last counter was empty. I assumed that since it was still early the employee was yet to come. I took a seat and waited. I don't remember how much time went by, as I was reflecting upon why I felt so scared earlier. I also remember occasionally thinking on asking the adjacent counter employee, if she could help me out, but somehow decided against. I rechecked my challan, signed it then continued to wait. When the wait became too long, I decided to get up and ask her anyway.
I walked up to the counter and said, 'I have to make a payment', and held up the challan. She nodded and took it from me. Surprised at how easy that was, and regretting upon not asking earlier I sat, while she worked on the details. I few questions, handing over of the money, two seals that made a loud noise and it was over. I thanked her and walked out, with a smile on my face. As I headed out of the compound both the watch men who helped me out, asked if I got my work done. I replied that I did and I thanked whole heatedly. My smile grew wider.
On my way back home I got a call from my dad, he asked, 'Were you able to make the entrance fee payment?', 'Yeah!', I replied. 'And did anyone in the bank eat you alive?', 'What! of course not! ', I exclaimed, 'why would you ask that?. 'You just seemed so worried', he said. I found myself replying, 'I was not!', a lie. My dad just smirked and said good bye.
Now I learned a lot from this, but the most important is that we have to let people help us once in a while. The silly task may not be impossible without it, but the help sure makes it a lot more easier and a lot more satisfying. The feeling of knowing that someone's there to help you if you tumble is incredible. And what's more incredible is the want to help someone else.
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